Traction...

Lets start this post with a quiz. Who knows the definition of the word: traction. The dictionary says this is the definition: the condition of being drawn or pulled. I would add my own which is: the act of making progress. Both of these are pertinent to my current situation. I'll explain everything in a second.

First off, I would like to apologize for not being a consistent writer. I last posted in April and as far as my health goes there hasn't been much activity until recently.

We have been busy with life and the boys. Paul is now a senior and we are checking off all of the 'lasts': last golf match, last cross country meet, last home coming, last football game. Jake is a freshman and is logging his share of firsts: first home coming, first high school baseball practice, first high school football. Ben is starting middle school with his own share of firsts: first football, first school basketball, girls... Dana and I are just trying to keep up.

I know you aren't reading this for the family update so I will catch you up on my kidney status.

Since April my kidneys have continued to deteriorate. My symptoms have increased in number and slightly in intensity. The summer was hard because I have learned that my kidneys are key in helping me cool off and keeping my hydration level constant. Who knew...? So I did my best to coach baseball and watch the boys in all their activities in the heat. It would make me pretty tired and if I pushed it I would get dizzy and have to take a break. I got good at seeing it coming and making sure I rested before it got too bad. When the weather started to get cooler I rejoiced knowing that I wouldn't need to sweat as much and would have more energy, which has been true. The ironic part to my story is that I am also turning anemic. If you don't know what anemic means, it means that my blood, which should carry a lot of oxygen rich red blood cells, can't carry enough red blood cells for some reason. My reason is that my blood is full of other stuff that isn't being cleaned out. I say it's ironic because I was welcoming the cold weather but when it arrived I realized that my anemia also meant that those red blood cells kept me warm. So I went from not being able to cool off to not being able to warm up. I can't get a break. Basically, any circulation based issue I am blaming on my anemia. I have always been a nervous talker ( true introvert ), but now my nerves have turned into severe shaking that I can't control. No more presentations or teaching classes for me, darn. I also have restless legs which bug me when trying to get to sleep. My hands and feet and the top of my bald head are always cold. I still get tired and dizzy occasionally if I attempt to physically work too hard. I've learned my limit so don't think bad of me if you see me sitting while everyone else is working hard, I recover fairly quickly. My most annoying symptom is more of a restriction. Dana has a friend that turns out to be a dialysis nutritionist and has shared a lot of good information on what I should eat and disappointingly what I should avoid. I knew some of them, like too much protein and too much calcium and too much caffeine. But when she came home recently and informed me that I should cut out my favorite thing I almost wanted to give up. She learned that any phosphorous that doesn't get cleaned by my kidneys could calcify in my veins. Do you happen to know what contains a lot of phosphorous? Dr. Pepper!!!! I can't believe it. Lord, what have I done to deserve this kind of torture?

Sorry, enough whining... (Sniff)

So why is this post called traction? As of today my situation is making progress but at the same time I'm being pulled to do something I didn't want to do. Wait, I am getting ahead of myself.

I talked about family, symptoms and I should talk for a second on the actual state of my kidneys. As of today my kidney function is sitting at 17%. 15% is considered kidney failure. That seems dire but realistically it isn't that cut and dry, it really depends on how you feel. I generally feel ok when I'm not too hot, too cold, nervous, don't over exert myself and avoid Dr Pepper. So while its time to make some progress towards the goal of getting a transplant, it is also time to get pulled into plan B since transplant could still be a ways away.

Let's talk about transplants. We have, again, been referred to the UAMS transplant team to get evaluated and hopefully listed on the national transplant list. This is important because if they don't approve of putting me on the list then they basically don't think is worth anyone's time to work towards a transplant. No list, no transplant. I will post an update when I hear more about this.

Transplant is plan A. Plan B and the only current option since I'm close to failure is to get ready for dialysis. There are two types and I'm not going to go in depth on both. In my mind there is only one type which is the type that allows me to stay away from the dialysis center for 12 hours a week attached to a machine for a whole afternoon. Peritoneal dialysis is my choice. It is frequently called home dialysis because I can do it at home while I sleep. Besides the advantage of doing it at home, I will do it every night which translates to more consistent blood cleansing. More consistency means that I shouldn't have any real bad days because of toxin buildup. In order to be able to do this type of dialysis I will need a semi-permanent tube inserted into my abdomen which will be how I connect to the machine at night. If you are curious how that works just google it, there are some good diagrams that explain it, or find your nearest high schooler and ask them how diffusion works which will be the basis for how it works. Anyway, this tube will get inserted into my belly this Friday (30th). After it heals for about a month I will be able to have clean blood for the first time in a while.

So there you go, kidneys at 17%, hot, cold, shivering when nervous, no Dr Pepper, waiting for transplant team and getting dialysis catheter on Friday.

As far as my mental state if you we're wondering. I'm glad to be talking to the transplant team. I am warming up to the dialysis option since they say it will definitely help me feel better. I'm not excited about the simple surgery to put a small tube in my belly.

I've been telling people that every day that I get to spend with my own kidneys and without help from a machine is a great day. Those days are becoming fewer but I won't dwell on that. I know God has a plan for my situation and I'm going to trust that he knows what he is doing.

Stay tuned...